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I was carrying a dead possum and a shotgun through a snowy marsh. There were polar bears with cubs on the left and lions with cubs on the right. I didn’t shoot any because I thought it would provoke an attack. I made it past the bears and lions and found myself at the edge of a gorge. I thought I saw two fairies flying in the gorge but it turned out to be guys with jet packs. I took pictures of them but they didn’t come out very well because my camera was too slow. The guys followed me home where they were interviewed by Jay Leno. The guys were brothers and they both had prosthetic feet.

I went to China with Teena. We stayed at Nicole’s art space. Nicole had a boyfriend named Gaston. Will Ferrell lived and worked in the art space as a security guard. He had a beard and a Chinese wife. Teena and I decided to explore the city. Teena bought a medieval cone hat. Our phone’s GPS told us we were in Miami. In the cinema district, we saw a hologram of King Kong burning to death. There were also tree zombies who attacked you unless you kicked them in the nuts. Teena didn’t want to see any of the scary movies.

The world had been set up so that everyone could move freely between the real world and a virtual world. Avant-garde fashion was the norm in the virtual world. I was watching space cartoons in the real world with my mom at her house when meteors came raining down outside. The meteors were bright red so they must have been some kind of silicate. The meteor storm lasted days but the house suffered no damage. Grass and asphalt were burned away. Mist rings emanated from the meteorites before they were cool enough to touch. There were thousands of environmental refugees and hunting with night vision was a necessary part of survival. Some people wanted everyone to live in the virtual world all the time because conditions in the real world were so miserable. I decided to move to California since there had been no meteor storm in that state.

I went to a hockey game at the Pepsi Center. There were two ice rinks separated by nets and players could skate from one to the other. The Avalanche goaltender kept trying to score in the goal behind his own. The game ended and my stepmom asked me to buy a small whiteboard on my way home, I think she wanted to use it to keep track of mammography appointments. My parents and I went home in three separate cars. Our house was in Japan so my car turned into the Millennium Falcon so I could cross the Pacific Ocean. A giant Buddha statue was also crossing the Pacific but it exploded when it neared the Japanese shoreline. The dream became animated and the Japanese Emperor, who had African ancestry, was very sad about the destruction of the Buddha statue. The Emperor was heating tacos in the microwave when a masked assassin entered the room. The tacos got too hot and became the consistency of giant microwaved marshmallows and made a big mess on the floor. The animated part of the dream ended and the three of us were back home and I had forgotten to get a whiteboard. My bedroom was on one of the upper floors and I decided to sneak out of the window and onto the roof. I sang an Anberlin song as I was climbing down the roof and jumping off: Take what you want from me, it means nothing now. Take everything from me, it means nothing now. Not so easy to forgive, harder to forget, take what you want. I landed in wet grass and started crawling with my stomach close to the ground so nobody could see me. My dad came out of the house and asked me if I wanted to go to the grocery store with him. My stepmom told me to “get the breast cancer test with the cup” instead of the whiteboard. There was also something about my mom working at a movie theater in Hollywood with hundreds of screens.

There was a poacher in my backyard who was hunting monkey-sloths. I rescued one and I wanted to keep it as a pet but it kept trying to escape because I couldn’t find any bugs or fruit for it to eat.