Travis died and was the cover story of all the local papers. Scott brought Carly to my mom’s house and we watched her do handstands in my room. Then she complained about Teena and me. She decided to spend the night in the guest bedroom. She wouldn’t let me share the bed with her.

I left my dorm at night because I was bored because everyone was taking pictures of each other from their balconies (I started it). I went to a Native American gift shop where they were selling posters of aliens and of Fred Astaire playing Macbeth. The next day Andrea, Scott, and I went to visit my dad at his cabin in Pagosa Springs where there was snow on the ground but at the same time it was surprisingly warm. People were reading aloud to each other on the roof where you could see mountains, lakes, and trees for miles but I didn’t like the view so that night I shot and killed a bunch of army guys in the snow. Then Bill and I put Silly String on our faces.

Scott or Greg and I were driving through the desert at night when a radio ad came on that said we had to buy their Bill Cosby compilation because he was going to pay somebody to kill him. So we got out and started our fire and fed it popcorn and eggs. There was also something about CSU being a very large graveyard.

My dad called me worried that MySpace was going to prosecute everyone named Andrew, so I decided to pay him a visit. On my way to the car, an Asian guy jumped me for looking at him too long, though I was just admiring his beauty. I got lost in Westminster when trying to get to Boulder so I called my mom for directions, but then we started watching Dante’s Peak. We could only watch the first two minutes of it because the shrieking rotting corpse girl who attacked and ate cows was too scary.

Part One

I was stacking pudding containers in the Pepsi factory next to the Coke factory next to Daniel’s old house. There were three old people who worked there who were always complaining: a tall skinny man, a short fat man, and a woman.

Part Two

There was a blizzard during a football game on the CSU campus but the only place left to stay was a hotel in New Mexico. The next morning I bought three articles of clothing from the gift shop and went to check out but there were things on the contract that I didn’t understand. I walked out to my car and saw lots of dead birds. I realized that this was caused by birds drinking sugar water from the bird feeder, then flying into the window and breaking their necks.