Food

I went to Shira’s house and when her parents went to sleep we went into a tiny basement and listened to a psychobilly and alternative compilation CD. In the morning we ate ravioli and my mom cave over and argued with her parents about the best way to raise special needs children. Then we went to Shira’s little brother’s submarine competition and he won the first round June Fairy award. Then we came back and I talked to her mom about Nirvana and Fall Out Boy.

Part One

It was nighttime in a parking lot and Seth found some cop’s gun. He ‘accidentally’ shot Teena in the shoulder even though we were both watching her when he did it.

Part Two

Scott and I were on a boat in the ocean in Japan that had a restaurant on it with a long line to the counter. Clear fish kept jumping on the deck and when you put them in chlorine they turned into lizards and you could crack them open and eat their gooey centers. When we finally got to the counter they didn’t have any unagi but I guess that makes sense because unagi is freshwater eel.

Part Three

I was about to drive to a concert with Austin and Sage and some other guy but wasps were flying around in my car.

I gave birth to a poodle and then I went to a picnic and poured myself a glass of rosé and Teena showed up so I went looking for a matching glass for her but she didn’t drink any because she was too tired. Then I went to the same hot springs that I had met Mistah F.A.B. at once and there was a Celtic lady following me around. Then I went to a Weezer concert at the Pepsi Center and I started giving candy bars to random people and you could pay $4500 to have a room in the Pepsi Center demolished.

I was eating breakfast in the kitchen at my dad’s house in Boulder when a turkey came in a hole in the screen door. I yelled at it to make it go back outside but it just got mad and started flying around the kitchen. I grabbed my camera and started taking pictures because I knew nobody would believe me if I told them about this. It flew into the living room so I ran upstairs and grabbed a ski and scared the turkey out with that. Then my dad and step mom came home.

Part One

There was a really big park and kids were hunting giant endangered bears like cavemen while their moms watched. Then we walked over to a wedding and most of the kids weren’t holding their plates correctly so food was falling off. Someone thought it would be a good idea if the 15,000 guests formed two lines for a picture but they kept wanting to move the lines back and forth and people were falling over and getting crushed. Emily’s toe got cut off and rolled down a drain. It was basically the most disastrous wedding ever.

Part Two

They were launching the world’s first flying cars which seemed more like hot air balloons connected with a giant rope but one of them crashed and made a giant splash south of town.

Part Three

Everyone thought a Christian guy was cloning babies and feeding people their brains in a restaurant (they had the color and texture of shrimp) but it turns out he was creating the babies from scratch.