I flew to China, then took a train to their Olympic Training Center. I watched some women’s gymnastics, then toured a tennis ball factory. The tennis ball dye was made from bacteria grown on-site. I was nearly forced to work in the factory, but I escaped. My mom showed up. Our plan was to rollerblade to the airport by following the train tracks.

It was winter at the Eden Project in Cornwall. I was part of a group of students who were sledding. I went inside for lunch. The cafeteria was crowded, but most of the people left a few minutes later. There was a television playing an AFI video. The video showed a blue mermaid being born in Cornwall and a green merman being born in Nova Scotia.

I visited a botanic garden in Denver with my family. Then we looked at the old row houses for sale nearby. They were white with red doors. I was supposed to meet the Mafia at 2:25. I suggested we meet at 2:45. Big trucks pulled up outside the row houses. I received a typed letter indicating their displeasure. I was shot in the chest, then I fell to the floor.

I was in a car with my dad. He was driving and joking about Mitt Romney bringing Pope Francis to Colorado. A few cars were driving the wrong way on our side of the median. One of them collided with a school bus. The bus pulled into a parking lot and we followed. The bus wasn’t carrying children. Instead, it was full of elderly women. None of the women were injured. My dad and I went into the nearest business. After making a small purchase, we noticed a movie playing. Vincent Cassel played a French immigrant living in the Territory of Utah in 1890. He and his wife were bathing with their two daughters in a small tub.

Part One

I crossed the train and foot bridge over Spring Creek on my walk to and from school. One day, I watched as a blizzard derailed the train and a flood destroyed the bridge. I looked for an alternate route in tunnels underground.

Part Two

Conan O’Brien was my father and he was getting married in Texas. Conan and his bride passed out during the ceremony, so I was the only entertainment in the church. I had a box of props, but my jokes weren’t as funny as those yelled out from the audience.